DIeting makes me ill…

I wish I could say that I was doing a legit food diet and that that was making me ill….but no I’m talking about a spending diet.  A crappy crappy oh so extremely crappy spending diet. 

About a month ago I decided that I needed to go on a diet (again, not a food diet, although I think I could stand to start one of those too).  Our credit card bills weren’t budging much and we were still putting some money on them every month so nothing was really getting paid down.  So I put together a list of needs and a list of wants and allowed myself some flexibility for special items….namely clothes.  When I saw some…I mean like almost none.  Again…crappy crappy.

I’m sure you all have heard about the 3.1 Phillip Lim for Target collection that came out yesterday, right?  Well if you hadn’t….3.1 Phillip Lim made a collection for Target that came out yesterday.  And I won’t be ashamed to say that I was in line.  I had saved up to buy one thing from that line, even researched the collection before hand so I knew what I wanted, and vowed to get that one and only thing.  This is what I decided on:

 

But as I waited in line (yes I got up and waited in line) I felt the anticipation of shopping and I said to myself “well, self, if you see other things you like just grab them because others are just going to be grabbing things and there’s no saying you have to buy them but just see what happens.”  I got all caught up in the frenzy of everything that the next thing you know I had all this in my cart:

 

OMG if I wasn’t dying about how cute everything looked on me.  Yes I’m being vain but speaking the truth.  This is really the first designer-for-Target line that I feel like fit me true to size, and I would TOTALLY wear all of this repeatedly.  The only problem is….I am on a diet.  I cannot afford to spend all these calories on these delicious items.  No joke, I went and found a corner of the store and calculated how much all these things would cost now, calculated a “cost per wear”, how much went with items already in my closet, the total combinations I could come up with…..basically anything to justify spending almost $200 on clothes.  I thought to myself “there’s no way I can come back later because these items just won’t be here,”…”This is a limited collection” and “I’ll never be able to find it on clearance in my size”…”this looks so cute on me and I’ll wear it a million times”…….

Then, without thinking I grabbed everything in my cart, tossed it on a shelf, and ran up to the cash register with the item I initially came for, paid, and literally ran out of the store.  And to be honest, I was almost crying.  I have been non stop thinking about those items all day and have had anxiety and sweats every time I think of that sweater with the sparkly collar or the way that leopard skirt and shirt would have looked so chic.  You think I have issues?  Oh yes…I definitely have issues.  And I should be proud of myself that I was able to walk away from everything but the exact item I went in for….but I’ll be honest and say that I’m more disappointed that I didn’t get those things.  I know it sounds crazy…but that’s because I am.  I never ever admitted to sanity.

So although I am deeply saddened by my loss of my beautiful Phillip Lim pieces…I shall keep an eye out for returns and clearances and hope that I can score something with next months budget for less.  In the meantime…I’m going to be paying down my credit card with the money I saved from NOT buying those other pieces, I’m going to be loving the heck out of the sweatshirt I got, and using my existing closet to it’s fullest potential.

BOOM.

(And I’ll be praying every night that I’ll be getting a few of those pieces on clearance…yes still obsessing.)