Monday, February 7, 2011

Hit Hard

So....on this Monday....I thought I might get a little serious on y'all.  As you all know.....our economy sucks.  And if you didn't know, you're a lucky booger and probably extremely wealthy and I feel honored that you're taking the time out of your fabulous life to read our blog!  Anyway, the slow recovery in our economy is obviously hitting all of us pretty hard....and it has been especially taxing on our little family.  Being that Sonny is a small business owner in one of the worst industries to be in right now (the automotive business, specifically tires), our little foursome has been squeezed so tight and I feel that we are about to burst.

This weekend was a hard realization for us that we need to start considering me going back to work.  This isn't a problem for me....I won't miss my bon bons.  But I will desperately miss my kids.  After being a SAHM for nearly 3 years now, I can't imagine someone else raising them.  Even the thought of me saying goodbye everyday brings a tear to my eye.  I take pride in my work, and feel so successful when Hunter tells me he has to go to the bathroom, when Jagger picked up a piece of food and self fed himself for the first time, and when both of them share their toys with other children and sleep well every night.  Those are the greatest accomplishments of my life!  I know that there are PLENTY of working moms out there who will say that you still feel all those things and that the parents are still the ones that are raising the kids....but I'll be honest.  I love what I'm doing right now.  And, in full disclosure, I'm scared.  Terrified, in fact.  Terrified that they will "change."  Terrified that I will miss something big, like a first word, or the first steps.  And terrified that I'll choose the wrong nanny or daycare and something bad will happen.

After much discussion, I'm officially on the job hunt.  We have in place a couple options that I could maybe do from home...but I'm officially looking for employment.  I have guilt, I have resentment, but I know that in the end....this is what our family needs right now,  and I will do ANYTHING to give my kids the very best.  ANYTHING.  So if you see a short, half-Asian, slightly chunky chick robbing your bank in New wasn't me.  (joke...joke....)


  1. We are in a similar boat. I am looking for an adjunct professorship at ANY local college, but I have had little luck. I don't want to return to teaching high school. It takes too much time and energy away from my family, but if I have to . . .

  2. I wish I was closer to help.
    Love you!


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