Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My one and only....or so I thought

Shock, confusion, dismay, excitement.....and shock. That's pretty much how I'd describe it. I never thought it would happen, we were convinced that we were settled. It's a whole range of emotions, feelings, and worry. I really never thought it would did! What is "It?" Baby number 2. That's right folks....I'm pregnant again!

It was really a total shock. For a year now Sonny has been convincing me that one is enough. Not that we DIDN'T WANT any more, but financially we knew Hunter would be better off, we could provide more for him, for us, and our lifestyles would be totally different. I felt like he finally convinced me that Hunter was it, he was my one, my only, my forever little love. Then I realized I hadn't gotten my period and it was about 10 days overdue. I'm so right on the money with the monthlies that I attributed it to the stress of Pepper's surgery, and I had lost a couple more pounds that when I took the pregnancy test....I really thought it was going to come up negative. Actually, I took it, bathed Hunter, put him to bed, and it was about 30 minutes before Sonny asked what the result was. I completely forgot about it!

Now, we had been over at my SIL's house and I thought I'd just ask to see if she had one, and lo and behold she did have one. The best kind to. The kind that digitally says "pregnant" or "not pregnant." No lines, no plus or minus signs, just the words. So I walked into the bathroom, fully expecting one result....and there it was, plain as day, in digital no less.....pregnant. I waited a couple minutes....thinking it might take a little while for the "not" to show up. I even picked it up and shook it a bit. If the thing had a mouse like a computer.....i would have been clicking clicking clicking.

After I realized that it said pregnant and that was that....I teared up....and not cuz I was happy. Hey, I'm being honest. I was terrified. We need a bigger house, another nursery set, another college fund, less vacations, less clothes for me, I just lost all the weight, I won't get to drink on my 30th birthday, but we were planning a cruise next June. All these things and more were running through my head as I came stumbling out of the bathroom, shocked, terrified, tears streaming down my face....waiting for Sonny's reaction.

"YAY!" he says

Oh I'm pissed. Yay? YAY? YOU!!! You who spent the last 12 months convincing me, brainwashing me, into thinking that one is plenty, that one is all we're having, that two was not an're giving me a YAY??? YOU IN NO WAY PREPARED ME FOR A YAY!!!! How dare you! I'm in complete shock and dismay and fright because one was all we're having!!! AND YOU GIVE ME A YAY!!!!

After a couple minutes of having a minor breakdown....I realized that the "yay" was a good thing. Sonny completely supported the idea, apologized for the year of one, one, only one, and said that despite our worries with money and housing and blah blah blah....the benefits of two may well out weigh the benefits of having one. We know we'll make the best of it, just like we would have made the best of it with just Hunter. we are...back with our noses in the books figuring out how to go from 3 to 4, how we're going to save for college....and aprox. when we think we can get a bigger house (which is not for awhile unless America pulls its head out of it's you-know-where and get things moving again. Ask not what your country can do for you, America. ok...enough political jibber jabber)

We're excited, we're stoked, I'm relishing every alone minute I get with my sweet boy, because I know in about 6 months he's going to have to share me, and I'm going to have to let go a lot more with him. This is a blessing....although I'm still scared....but it will be great. And my prediction (with a little bit of hope) is that it's another sweet little baby boy!


  1. AHH Congrats! So very excited for you two! What a wonderful time.

  2. Yay! I'm so excited to be an Auntie again!



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