Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Running on Guilty...

I had the good fortune to have a couple "Mommy and Me" days with my boys.  Good for my kids because they get alone time with me, and good for me because I get a break by only having one at a time.  However, have you ever felt like just because you have extra time you're obligated to DO MORE?  I did....and It's ridiculous!

Hunter and I had a great morning after dropping off Jagger at the grandparents.  We went to the kids gym, we strolled through Target, we ate lunch together, and came home and cuddled during an episode of Super Why.  There was no little brother to make him wait for a snack, or have to leave early because of nap time, or run to the bathroom for emergency diaper changes.  Just me and him and all my attention.  It was glorious!!  And then I had a wonderful 3 hours of uninterrupted nap time to do whatever I wanted!! I could scrap, have a cup of coffee and surf the web, watch Nate and Ellen without multiple children waking up!  But did I do that?  Nope.  Why, you ask?  Because I felt guilty.  I felt like because I had an easier load of children, I needed to bulk up on my duties at home.  I have an extra hour....I should really do laundry instead of enjoy Ellen.....and run on the treadmill instead of read my blogs....or clean the bathroom instead of taking a nap.  I felt like because I had more time, I was obligated to fill it with chores instead of filling it with things that make me happy.  And by the time I crammed extra chores into my schedule....Hunter was calling for me!

That's when I kicked myself.  This wasn't just a day for my kids to have my was also a day for ME to have my own attention.  To nap if I wanted.  To catch up on scrap-booking.  I only had one child's schedule to worry about and I should have scheduled time for myself as well!  Well No MORE!!! Next time I get to have the "Mommy and Me" day...I will make sure that those precious naps are just for ME.  Why should I feel guilty for taking a little break?  I shouldn't be cramming my schedule with extra house duties just because I have a few extra moments to spare!  I suppose it's because my home and my family are my job (being a SAHM) and I feel like I failed if there are still things to be done.  But I realized that there are ALWAYS going to be things leftover at the end of the day...and my house is not going to fall apart if I take a few hours every month to do whatever I feel  like doing.

Do any of you moms "run on guilt?" When you have a few moments to yourself, do you tend to squeeze a few more tasks into your schedule, or use it as a time to re-coup?  Hopefully we can all realize that we moms deserve time for ourselves.  I had that light bulb go off today.....and I have a feeling that taking those few moments to focus on me and my hobbies will ultimately make me more productive on a daily basis!

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