Wednesday, September 8, 2010

That's Nice...

Lani and I have had many conversations about this topic, and so have the Hubs and I. It seems to be obvious, but maybe people just have diarrhea of the mouth? They lack common courtesy? I don't know. I can't quite put my finger on it.

This weekend, Will and I went to a couple birthday parties. It was a hot & busy weekend! My grandma was at one of the parties and was, of course, helping me with Will. At one point she had him on her lap and Will was eating. I struck up a conversation with another mom and she asked how old Will was. I said 17 months. She said, "Oh, he doesn't seem to be talking much, yet", and proceeds to tell me how her daughter didn't talk until she was 2 years old, but now she can't get her to shut up, and that I shouldn't worry. Um... I wasn't worried. No where in our short conversation did I give you an inkling that I was worried. In fact, I said "Well, he's not talking right now, because he's eating. He doesn't talk much while he's eating. But he does say quite a few words." The mom started to retort again, along the lines of not to worry, that boys typically develop later (Seriously, I hate this bit of info that people think they know and love to throw out there... You would know because you've done so much research on this? You became a scientist or doctor in the course of our conversation? I had no idea... ). Then it cracked me up because G-ma (my grandma, Will's Great Grandma, but we call her G-ma) started to go to bat a little bit to verify that yes, Will does say quite a few words and can tell you what he wants a good portion of the time.

I got home that day and was telling Hubby about this conversation. I was kind of upset by it. He proceeded to tell me about his coworker. She just had an adorable little girl. She's 6 months old now. People constantly comment about how small she is. "Aw, what a cute little girl. She's so SMALL." The mom said that a lot of times they say small in a way that makes her feel like they're asking if she's normal. She even had someone ask her "Is she developing ok?". Are you serious?! Who in their right mind has the audacity to ask the mother of an adorable little girl if she's developing ok?! Come on! She's a baby, of course she's small! No, she's not 30 lbs and 3' tall yet...she's a BABY!

Most of the time, the people that ask these things or give these unwanted, unhelpful, unnecessary pieces of advice are parents themselves. That boggles my mind! You don't walk up to a grown adult and say "Wow. You have a big fat mole on your face. Is it cancerous? I had one removed because it was cancerous but yours probably isn't". But for some reason, people feel like kids are free reign. Babies and young toddlers can't speak for themselves, so they can't tell these rude people to go jump off a cliff. ...yet.

I am a mom and I know how hard it is. I feel bad when I hear a kid going crazy at a restaurant because probably, that kid isn't usually like that, but it's passed his dinner time or bedtime, or both. If a baby starts to cry on an airplane, I can sympathize because my crazy kid did the same thing. It's a tough job! Be empathetic! Don't give me stories about how awesome your kid is because they were talking before they were 2 years old and not to worry about my kid. I'm not worried! He's just the right size, with the right brain capacity, and is one of the happiest and healthiest kids I know! He'll get there. And guess what, in 4 years when he starts school, no one is going to care when he first started walking or talking.

So to all of the parents out there chomping at the bit to compare my kid to their platypus... Stop. Offer words of wisdom if you want, or a great recipe for apple pie. Tell me that this is the hardest age to deal with. Don't assume that I'm so worried about my child's development. Instead, assume that I'm working my ass off to raise a great kid, just like you probably were when you had kids, and I won't have to restrain myself from punching you in the face.


  1. Love this topic!! I always find it funny that people love to compare their child/ren to everyone else's!! In a few years I'll be sure to tell you how my child walked at 2 months, ran at 3 months, talked at 4 months and was writing full on paragraphs by age 1 =)

  2. Love this! I totally know what you mean about people with advice like that! Ugh! Hang in there! P.S. Love your blog! :)


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