Respect my views, and I'll respect yours. Don't, and I'll punch you in the face

O.....M......G........I had THE WORST conversation about birthing yesterday....with a dude, no less. A dude who is apparently much more informed in pregnancy than I am.  I'm in shock, in awe, in utter disbelief that it happened. I thought it was just an unspoken rule throughout the pregnant community that everyone is entitled to their own opinion about how to birth their baby and it is just accepted that everyone's view is different. Apparently I'm the ignorant one because I just had a debate about why the way I handled Hunter's birth was wrong, and that I really didn't need a C-Section even though my "doctor" told me I did. AAAAHHHHHHHRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!  And yes....he put the word doctor in quotes as if they are all hacks and they aren't real people.  Ok, well, when you get into a car accident or something terrible happens to you, say, you get smashed in the face with a brick....we'll see what "doctors" can do for you...right? yeah.

OK, first of all, let me just start by saying that I did not have a PLANNED C-section. In fact, I did not WANT a C-Section at all. I did not desire to be cut down through my ab muscles that I worked so hard on, have 6 week recovery period, and be all drugged up in a hospital bed numb from boobs down. That really wasn't the picture I had it the whole scheme of the birthing fantasy.  I went into the hospital with every intent to have a natural birth.  And yes, I went to a hospital.  That was part of the crazyness that went on with this discussion.  He and his family are having a home birth, which is great, fantastic, beautiful, wonderful, fairies unicorns flowers and rainbows.  I however, trust in the hospitals.  Is that wrong?  NOT AT ALL!  EITHER WAY IS FINE!  But I personally feel comfort in having TONS of medical professionals around me if something goes wrong with me, the baby, my husband, whatever.  But then, I understand....they are just "doctors" to you.

And let me just say that my hospital experience was wonderful.  The medical staff at Virtua in Voorhees really does everything they can to make you feel comfortable, and they are totally into the mother/baby bonding experience.  They are super attentive, even to the husband, and they fully encourage vaginal births, breast feeding, all the "natural" stuff you're supposed to do.  Love you Virtua!  You're wonderful!

Ok second, my baby was 2 weeks late, huge, and was not fitting through the birth canal.  OH TRUST!!! We tried....TWO HOURS of trying.  Pushing pushing pushing pushing....let's change positions and push on the side, ok now the other side, shall we try all fours?  My doc (oh I'm sorry...."doc") was determind to get the baby out through that birth canal...but Hunter was just not fitting.  Then, scare of all scares, his heart rate started dropping.  We would get it back up, push again, and down it would plummet.  Then.....oh I can barely relive it....it didn't go up.  It stayed down in the red.  My heart stopped....I was going to lose.  My doctor said very quietly "ok, Lani, i suggest that we move to plan b"  "What's plan B?"  "A C-section"  "Dr. Mackey" I said, "Just get him out safe."  11 minutes later I had a beautiful, healthy, baby boy.

Now let me just pose the question to the "expert" (that's right....quotes....suck it) I was talking to yesterday, what would your midwife have done in that situation?  Or you, for that matter, at home?  How would you have saved your baby?  Again....I'm all for the home birth.....go at it....i'm not going to try to push my views on you, because unlike some, I respect all pregnant women for the pure fact that they are bringing life into this world.  I don't care how you do it, just bring the baby into the world safely.  But would you not feel a little more comfort in knowing that someone is there is case of an emergency?  But, since some are close minded, you probably think that the baby will slide right out because of some herbal tea you've been drinking or because you are super comfy at home on your couch.  There's just no possible way anything could go wrong, right?  I pray not....

OK 3rd, I'm preggs again right?  And my doctor's are giving me the choice to go natural or c-section.  I HAVE A CHOICE?  WHO KNEW?  I do believe that they are encouraging me to go natural, but I'm just not sure.  Honestly, I KNOW they can get the baby out safe through a c-section, and just based on that 11 minute scare of "oh god just please get him out safe and let me hold him" I don't really know if I really want to go through that again.  MY OPINION!!!  Would I try and change someone's mind about THEIR OWN PERSONAL birthing plan or tell them it's wrong?  HELL NO!  Get you're baby out safe and sound....that's how much I concern myself with your pregnancy. 

Ok, I guess I must apologize now.  This conversation really, really, really, ticked me off because I felt like I was being criticized for my choices.  Why?  My baby is happy, healthy, active, smart (he can tell me what a whole ZOO of animals says now!!  ha ha!) and ALIVE.  Isn't that ALL that matters when it comes down to it? I don't care how you handle your own birthing methods, just deliver the baby.  And really, what is right for one may not be right for another....but that doesn't make it wrong.  The baby is the end result in any situation, and that's what matters.  Not all pregnancies are fairies and rainbows, regardless of what the mother does, eats, drinks, excercises or doesn't, or anything else.  So, anyway, I'm sorry for an endless rant and rave about a subject that has no right or wrong.  Just don't mess with my child or the decision that I make for him in his young life....and we're kosher.