Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Spit Up & I

Ah...spit up. How I loathe you...let me count the ways...

In 24 weeks of feeding my baby boy, spit up and I have become very close. Too close. Sitting on the sofa nursing or bottle feeding WEB with the Boppy (that U-shaped pillow for you non-baby people. See photo...aw...what a cute baby! What was WEB when he was 2 weeks old. That seems like forever ago! Ok. Let's get back on track.) on my lap, WEB somehow has managed to introduce me to crotch spit up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I said crotch spit up. WEB turns his head, the stars align, and the Niagra Falls sized spit up runs down the Boppy, down my leg, and ends in a puddle on the sofa in my crotch. This could quite possibly be the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I love my son to death, but COME ON! Give me a break! Haven't I experienced enough traumatic things with you?

Apparently not because there is also ta-ta spit up. This actually just happened to me today. I was holding WEB after he had woken up from an afternoon nap. He's happy and pleasant when all of a sudden he projectile vomits on my chest. The best part is that he manages to do this only when I'm wearing a tank top or scoop neck shirt, so the spit up hits my chest, runs between my cleavage, and creates a lovely smelling puddle in my bra. If you were already feeling less than attractive that day, this does not help matters. What makes it better is having your husband watch you clean yourself up when this happens because he has to take your child away since you're just totally disgusted.

This doesn't just apply to Moms. Dads get their fair share of chest spit up too. Hubby changed his shirt twice today due to spit up incidences. There was even an instance when WEB managed to spit up inside Hubby's shirt. Hubby thought he had spit up somewhere but didn't see it. Then all of a sudden he felt that his chest was wet. He looked at his shirt and it was dry. What the...?! He touched his shirt and it got wet from the inside out. Ta-Da! I don't know what's worse: Spit up in your cleavage or in your chest hair. The day I grow chest hair, I'll let you know...

I've tried different approaches, but I'm sorry to say that I don't have any tips for avoiding it. This is more of a warning....BEWARE!!! Oh yeah, and beware of those hitchhiking ghosts, too!

PS. to Lani : I figured I'd continue your Disney quip...maybe it will be a trend this week in honor of your arrival and our Disney adventures to come!

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