Beach Babes....and Babies

This weekend was Sonny’s B-day (that’s the hubs….he wants an alias in case I say anything bad about him….haha!!) and we went down to “the shore” (oh NJ….it’s still just the beach to me). Anyway…getting ready in the morning…looking at all my bikini’s that I only got to wear once during pre-wedding, pre-baby times. (sigh) Do I even need to go into the thoughts that were going through my head? No…I think we can all decipher what I was thinking…but for those who have no body issues…. “tank-ini’s suck” and “fat cow” were just some of the fleeting thoughts that morning.

I’m just not a fan of tankini’s. They’re hot, uncomfortable, and I might as well just be wearing a tank and shorts. Plus…they just don’t scream “hot mama”….and that’s what I am, right? Right, damnit!!!

Well….I took a chance. I don’t know anyone out here who would judge, I have a cover up if we happen to plant ourselves by a bunch of fit and fab teenagers, and I’m at pre-baby weight….just not pre-baby body….but still…I feel pretty good. I quickly donned a bikini…really didn’t look at myself in the mirror cuz I would totally second guess…and headed out the door.

The day was BEAUTIFUL, the ocean was warm, and H was having a GREAT time in the sand (it was his first time at the beach and he love, love, loved it!) I took off the cover up….totally nervous…looking around to see peoples reaction to my white, pasty “butt” belly (I had a C-section, so you my stomach resembles something close to a mountain range of chub, or a nice little hieney on my front). It was then I realized….people really could not give a flying bleep about what my stomach looked like or how big my hips still are. Sonny kept telling me on how nice I looked, and the only comments from strangers were about how adorable H was. I guess I just have the notion in my head from my single days that I’m on the beach in a bikini to impress. But the only person to impress now is my hubs….and he thought I looked good….so what was I worried about?

I started to ease up about the shape of my body and just started to enjoy the day with my husband and my son. Yeah….who cares if when I go to rescue the boy from face planting in the sand if I have a couple rolls...or when I’m splashing in the water I have a little extra jiggle…I was cut in half and had an 8 pound human pulled out of me…and taking that into account…I think I look pretty damn good! I’ll probably try the bikini again….but only if Sonny’s there to keep telling me I look good!!